Dear Coach.....my open letter to all coaches, any city, any state

If you are a coach, know a coach, please read and share.

Dear Coach,

 You do not know me or my son, but I would like to tell you his story. Tommy is a now 9-year-old boy who is the ultimate sports hound. He has played soccer for many years, so anxious to play at the tender age of 2, that his sister’s coach allowed him to practice with the 4-year-old team, even bringing him in on the last game of the season. A “boy of summer”, Tommy plays baseball locally while he follows the Boston Red Sox, Seattle Mariners and Cleveland Indians with great passion. He tracks collegiate and professional football like no other, with his gridiron heroes residing at Texas Christian University, Ohio State University, and Army; his NFL allegiances are broad, cheering for the Seattle Seahawks, Dallas Cowboys, Cleveland Browns, and New England Patriots. When you are an “Army brat” with two military parents who are from different states, in addition to enduring several moves over a little lifetime, cheering for multiple teams is inevitable.

 This brings me to a battle Tommy fought that was bigger than any World Series or Super Bowl. On 5 March 2012, doctors found a large mass in Tommy’s brain. He was transferred to Seattle Children’s Hospital where surgeons successfully removed it, led by a brilliant neurosurgeon, Dr. Richard Ellenbogen. We could not have asked for a more skilled physician leading the team, and despite the devastating diagnosis, Tommy was impressed that the co-Chair of the NFL’s Head, Neck, and Spine Committee would perform his surgery—if the NFL employed his services, then he met the threshold of awesomeness in Tommy’s mind. After we received the pathology report with a final diagnosis of cancer, he was referred to Massachusetts General Hospital for proton beam radiation treatment where he was under the care of Dr. Torunn Yock, another brilliant physician we were fortunate to have care for Tommy.  He completed the sessions in June 2012 and we returned to University Place, WA. Tommy’s strength and resilience were remarkable; he and his two sisters are adept at dealing with hardship brought on by war and multiple deployments, and perhaps this contributed to his courage and inner-strength.  I am happy to report that Tommy is doing extraordinarily well, and has remained cancer free for the past 15 months. Tommy continues to get quarterly MRIs, a day that brings intense anxiety because while life has gone on as normal, we as parents never forget. We cannot show our fear; the unimaginable nightmare of recurrence will remain for years.

 This was one of the most difficult periods of our lives, but we were able to get through this with the support of so many people in the local area, across the country and overseas. People made contact with us to get Tommy to sports people and places that have brought him tremendous joy:  TCU and Army football; the Red Sox, Patriots, and Seahawks. And this is why you are reading this letter, Coach. I am embarking on a “CRUSH IT! Campaign”. During his radiation treatments, Tommy would envision the tumor being crushed, much like he crushes the soccer ball in the goal, and “CRUSH IT!” became his mantra. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month—something I was unaware of until Tommy was diagnosed with cancer. I discovered that the awareness ribbon is gold, and while happy there was at least recognition of childhood cancer, I could not help but wonder why there are not exhaustive efforts towards this cause. There are small non-profit organizations, but not of the magnitude we see with breast cancer awareness. It is my goal to see sports teams and sports men and women wear as much gold in the month of September as they wear of pink in October for Breast Cancer Awareness. I am starting with my friends and my kids’ coaches, and am now asking for your help.  I am humbly asking that you might consider asking your team to wear gold laces for the month of September while I navigate the bureaucratic hoops of bringing awareness at the collegiate and professional level. Many of the recreational soccer teams in Fircrest and Tacoma, WA are wearing laces; a track team in Pennsylvania, a baseball team in Virginia;  ice hocky boots in Colorado; a Taekwondo school in Virginia will wear gold on their belts since they do not wear shoes. I am hoping that gold laces will appear on kid’s soccer cleats, running shoes, ballet slippers, lacrosse cleats, hockey boots, or anywhere on a uniform for the month of September to stand in solidarity the peers they do not yet know who have cancer, as well as every other child across the country whose family has been shattered with this diagnosis.   

 The late Tony Snow wrote about his own diagnosis of cancer that eventually took his life in 2008: “We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.” I do not know the end of the Tommy McGraw story.  Whether 9 years or 90 years, his legacy will always be “CRUSH IT!” and it is my hope that there will be increased awareness of childhood cancer among the sports organizations and teams that he so admires.  Your help at the grassroots level in achieving this goal is appreciated. Please send me pictures of your team at leigh.mcgraw@gmail.com so I can use them to leverage the big people and teams going gold in future  Septembers.

                                                                         Kind regards,

                                                                        Leigh McGraw