Moms Talk: Telling Expectant Parents The Truths About Parenthood

Question: If you are an expecting parent, what question would you ask parents who have already been through it?

I have five friends who are pregnant right now.

I see fear and nervousness in their faces as their magical day creeps closer.

One thing expectant parents experience is the constant, often unsolicited advice given by others. It includes, among other thing, stories of “when I was pregnant” or “you should do this or that.”

But what about the things we were never told that we wish we knew then?  You know, those moments you’re holding your new baby and thinking to yourself, why didn't anybody tell me this?

I consider myself an expert when it comes to babies. I have yet to reach the teen years with my two kids, so I have no advice to give on how to handle those years. I do recall a few things I wish I would have known when my kids were babies.

Not all babies are created equally. Some have the perfect chubby cheeks, a full head of hair, and the most gorgeous blue eyes you’ve ever seen.

Others, on the other hand, have an elongated head, irregular skin complexion, and funny big ears. We love them all equally, but all the babies you see in those parenting magazines are not the only options for babies. Remember that. There’s always hope they’ll grow out of it.

Next, my husband would say talk about the blueberry festival.

Without going into details, you’re told a lie. The birth of your child is the most amazing experience that you’ll never forget, but don’t be fooled. It’s messy and a woman’s body can do amazing things to get that baby out. If you want further details, e-mail me.

My final piece of advice, whatever you resist the need to read all of those parenting books. You shouldn’t self-diagnose that white stuff on your babies tongue, though most will say it's thrush, and you should know that no book will tell you how to be a parent.

None of us are experts. We all just fake it until we find something that works for us and our babies. We make mistakes and it’s constantly a learning experience. Stop comparing yourself to the books, movies, and other parents.  It will only cause you angst.

Soon-to-be and new parents, ask any question you may have, too. This article is for you.