Mom's Talk: How Can Parents Survive Teaching Their Teens To Drive?

My first experience driving was having my older brother give me the keys to the family station wagon and taking us (the twins) out for a drive on a country road.

It was safe, I did have a permit, but I hadn't done any driving yet. I will never forget the feeling of going around the bend and not really controlling the car around the bend until my brother put his hands on the wheel to help me guide the car's direction. I really wasn't ready to make turns, put on the gas or even come to a controlled stop without giving everyone in the car a head whip.

Most teens look forward to driving because it means more freedom and a giant step towards adulthood.  But that doesn't mean parents look forward to it. I often tell people that if I had thought about having to teach my children how to drive, I might have had less children. It's one of their most exciting moment -taking the keys and starting the engine.  The opposite effect happens to me as I begin to experience the wave of stress and panic.  Of course teens are nervous too, but it's a more excited- thrilling-adrenoline feeling, not the white-knuckle nerves that parents experience.

Parents are not trained driver's ed teachers, and that is where some of the panic comes from.  Being involved parents can do several things to help their teens become successful drivers.

1. Prepare to Ride Shotgun

Determine whether you, yourself, can be a bigger help, or if your spouse has the more level head and patience to help a new driver.  Maybe you both can assist, but sometimes it's better to know your comfort in teaching this skill.

More things to consider:

-Before getting behind the wheel, discuss expectations, skill needed and going to learn, and keep it simple and short.

-Pick safe place - empty parking lots, away from other cars - it means less stress.

-Learn one thing at a time - braking, turning, accelerating - it's hard to process it all at one time.  In the beginning, go slow.

-Let mistakes be "teaching moments." Mistakes will happen. Pull over and discuss what happened and calmly (important advice) tell them what was wrong and how to avoid it next time.

-Keep  the practice session short and simple because after too long, nerves can get frayed and it can become difficult to stay calm. Speaking from experience, it can ruin it for both parents and teens.

2. Sign Them Up: Driver's Education

This is  the best option to help your teen.  They learn the rules of the road, prepare for the written and driving test, while gaining experience behind the wheel with trained experts. 

Parents can determine what is being covered in class each week and help their teens have practice sessions at home, which support learning and gives teens confidence along the way.

Classes are offered through local high schools. Go to the Curtis HS web page and click on Driver's Ed link.  Cost is $420 and are taught by certified instructors.

 A local business,  911 driving school, also teaches driver's training and you can find them at www.911drivingschool.com, or phone them at 253-566-9111. Their instructors are exclusively police officers. They teach several courses, and starting costs at $475  per session. Often they have online coupons that give $25-$50 discount.

3. Practice: I Increases Experience & Ability

-When it comes to driving, experience is important. The younger drivers begin to work and improve skills, the better they become.

More things to consider:

-They can begin to anticipate and become a defensive driver

-Try practicing driving in different conditions: nighttime, dusk, rain (which is a must around here), snow, roadwork, city and eventually freeway drives.

-Practice can include driving with passengers in the car (family only for six months after passing both written and driving tests). 

4. Be A Resource for your Teen 

You've been doing this for a long time, so who better to teach them stuff they might not even get in driver's education? Give them the basics of car maintenance, like how to change a tire. Show them where the spare tire is located and the wrench too. Teach them how to pump and pay for gas. Teach them what to do if there is an accident (call police, get information of driver, insurance, phone numbers, address, etc.)

More thing to consider:

-Tell them where the car registration/insurance card  is located (glove box, for example)

My husband and I have helped teach three adult children how to drive, with another one to begin the training again this summer, and No. 5 is a few years off. Each time we have taught our children it seems to be the same - and I have learned it takes patience and a team (parents, students, and driver's ed instructors) to teach them all the skills they need to learn.  Also, I have learned how to say. " more brake, brake, BRAKE, BRAKE!"...in a non threatening tone.  Start slowly wtih short driving sessions and do it often to give them the best start at learning driving skills.

Approach this milestone with an open mind, a positive attitude and patience. It will give your teen the needed skills to be a safe and responsible drivers. 

Refreshing our own driving skills at the same time  is not a bad idea either.